YNET Leaders Kick Off Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month at Greenwich Town Hall

Three Greenwich High school juniors from the school’s YNET club led an event at Greenwich Town Hall on Monday to kick off Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

YWCA Greenwich director Mary Lee Kiernan introduced Jennie Olmsted, Elizabeth Casolo and Anna DeMakes.

YNET is a youth driven, violence prevention program that focuses on leadership, peer education and teen dating violence prevention education.

“Dating abuse can happen to anyone regardless of gender identity, sexual orientation, socio-economic standing, ethnicity, religion or culture,” Kiernan said.

“One in 10 high school students report that they have been purposely hit, slapped or physically injured by a boyfriend or girlfriend, and unfortunately only one third of those teens ever told anyone about the abuse.” – Mary Lee Kiernan, YWCA Greenwich

YNET’s Ana DeMakes explained that YNET stands for youth network.

The club has been working to prevent teen dating violence and promote healthy relationships since 1996, when the YWCA domestic abuse services began receiving a high number of hotline calls from high school students.

At GHS this month the club plans to sell Valentines with messages about healthy relationships like, “Be Mine. Just kidding, be your own autonomous person,” as a way to talk about healthy relationships with peers.

The club is also planning “The empty desk day,” where an empty desk is reserved in each classroom with an explanation that a student is absent due to an abusive relationship, such as, “Sarah couldn’t come to school today because her partner kept her up awake all night texting all night.”

YNET leader Elizabeth Casolo gave examples of ways dating partners exercise power and control. “It’s not only physical. Abuse in a teen relationship can include demanding to see text messages, pressuring the person to quit their after school job or regularly throwing in a degrading comment.”

Elizabeth said one in three adolescents in the US is a victim of physical, sexual emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner.

“Young people between the ages of 16 and 24 are three times as likely to be in an abusive relationship,” Ana said. “We want our peers to know teen dating violence happens, even in Greenwich. It can happen to anyone, regardless of gender, race, age or socio-economic status.”

Ana said people might assume that teen relationships aren’t serious, and that young people might not have to worry about divorce, but for teens it is no easier to end a relationship than for adults.

“Think about how hard it might be to break up with someone you see in school every day. Maybe you ride the same bus. Maybe your parents are friends. Or you’re in the same friend group,” she said. “One of the most important things YNET does is to encourage students who might be in unhealthy relationships to reach out for help. YNET members are trained to support our peers and connect them to the professional services of the YWCA.”

In 2018 the YWCA Greenwich responded to over 3,700 calls to their hotline.

YNET’s Jennie Olmsted said if parents, teachers or caring adults suspect a teen in their life is in an unhealthy or abusive relationship, they should express their concerns without anger.

“Say what you’ve witnessed and what you’re concerned about,” Jennie said. “Listen to your child. If you talk over them, they may shut down. Resist the urge to solve the problem for them. Reserve judgement and do not criticize the abuser or your child may be quick to defend them.”

Jennie’s advice to friends of someone in an abusive relationship is to talk to and listen to the person.

“Allow them to open up at their own pace, and stand by them and be patient and encourage them to seek help through YNET and domestic abuse services at YWCA,” Jennie said.

First Selectman Fred Camillo read a proclamation designating February as Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Month.

The proclamation noted that high school students who experience physical violence in a dating relationship are more likely to use drugs and alcohol and are at a greater risk of suicide. Also they are much more likely to carry patterns of abuse into future relationships.

The proclamation also noted that teens who experience dating violence are more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior and unhealthy dieting behaviors, and have low academic performance and truancy, disrupting normal development of self-esteem and body image.