On Oct 22, the YWCA Greenwich’s Harmony Project annual candlelight vigil highlighted domestic violence awareness and prevention.
Earlier in the month the YWCA held their successful “Walk the Walk and 5K against Domestic Violence” in Roger Sherman Baldwin Park.
Speakers at the vigil included YWCA’s president and CEO, Mary Lee Kiernan, who said that last year alone staff responded to more than 3,600 calls to their hotline, more than 10 every single day.
“Two out of every three days someone is walking through the doors here seeking help, and yet our clients continue to present with far more complex needs than ever before and continue to face systemic barriers such as lack of affordable housing for those who do decide to leave abusive partners,” Kiernan said.
She noted that the YWCA Greenwich was now the fifth agency in Connecticut to provide both domestic and sexual violence services.
She thanked steadfast partners, Greenwich Police Dept and Greenwich Hospital.
Harmony Project Director Jessie DiMuzio spoke at the YWCA Greenwich’s candlelight vigil. Oct 22, 2024 Photo: Leslie Yager
Dozens turned out for the YWCA Greenwich’s candlelight vigil. Oct 22, 2024 Photo: Leslie Yager
Harmony Project Director, Jessie DiMuzio said reports consistently show that domestic violence is rampant in all communities in the US and happens to people across every walk of life, including all gender identities and expressions, sexual orientations, racial and ethnic groups, and socioeconomic status.
“At the Y, our clients are cis and trans men and women, or nonbinary – range from stay at home parents to attorneys, may be on Husky, or making three figures. Not a one of us is immune from domestic violence,” DiMuzio said.
Some statistics she shared included that almost 50% of women and 40% of men in the United States have experienced some form of intimate partner violence in their lifetime.
Every 60 seconds, 24 people are either sexually assaulted, physically harmed, or stalked by their partner – which is over 12 million people a year. Further, she said 30% to 60% of those who abuse their partners also abuse children in the household.
“Just as harrowing but critical for us to be aware of – homicide by a current or former partner is a leading cause of death for those who are pregnant or have just given birth,” DiMuzio said.
In 2023, the lives of 19 people in Connecticut were violently taken by intimate partners, and seven by a family member – 26 people whose ages spanned from two to 83.
DiMuzio pointed to three flowers displayed on a table to represent three more lives taken just this past September: Miguelina Lebron, 45; Krystal Alston, 27; and Jathan Escobar, who was just six years old.
“Tonight in Greenwich, a town with over 60,000 residents, there are hundreds if not thousands, trying to go about their normal nightly routine, putting dinner on the table, doing homework together, getting ready for bed – their bodies tense and tight, their nervous systems in a state of traumatic stress, their minds unable to focus as they try to anticipate the next time they will be screamed at, called terrible names, made to feel less than – some who are trying to calculate exactly what to say and what to do to appease the monster at home so they can make it one more night alive,” DeMuzio said.
The Harmony Project has a robust community education and prevention component to their work. At each public middle school in Greenwich, with K – 3 rd grade students at New Lebanon, and at Greenwich High School, including Windrose, we engage our youth in age-appropriate conversations on healthy and unhealthy relationships – including family, friends, supportive educators, and when older, safe dating relationships as we begin to explore who we are and who we love.
Their services range from emergency shelter to counseling for adults, teens, and children, as well as providing a Civil Legal Clinic with volunteer attorneys.
David Lovegreen, Outreach, Training & Engagement Coordinator at YWCA Greenwich. Oct 22, 2024 Photo: Leslie Yager
David Lovegreen, who serves as the Outreach, Training & Engagement Coordinator at the YWCA, said raising awareness was critical because what was once considered a ‘private family matter’ was in fact a public health crisis.
Impacts are not just to individuals and families, but to human productivity, educational and healthcare systems, and the safety of law enforcement as they respond to dangerous calls.
He noted that while Greenwich is considered a safe town, many residents feel unsafe inside their own homes and relationships.
“While many people still picture physical violence like a black eye or a bruised arm, there are coercive control tactics where an abuser never lays a hand on their partner but gains power and control over them by eroding their autonomy and self-worth,” Lovegreen explained.
Domestic violence may include verbal abuse, emotional abuse or financial abuse, such as limiting access, extorting funds and fostering dependency. It may include technological abuse such as surveilling, harassing, and sabotaging a partner.
The range of abusive tactics make it difficult to leave a relationship, as does the hope that things will improve, guilt that somehow the abuse is the victim’s own fault, family and social pressure, shame, and love of one’s partner.
The Purple Ribbon Award was presented to Attorney Jill Blomberg who was honored for showing an outstanding commitment to the issue of domestic violence.
Blomberg talked about how abusive partners weaponize the legal system as a means of punishing the person attempting to end an unsafe relationship.
The keynote speaker, “Janet,” talked about tolerating years of physical and emotional abuse during a decades long marriage. She credited the Harmony Project and her counselor for helping her walk away from the debilitating effects of physical abuse and constant vigilance, as well as years of convincing herself that everything was fine.
She described living in secrecy with her abusive spouse who tried to kill her repeatedly, all while her marriage was envied by others.
Five years since walking away, Janet said she was finally maturing to her true self and felt safe and comfortable in her own home.
The names of 26 people who lost their lives in Connecticut this past year to domestic violence were read aloud – a rose placed in memoriam of each.
Leaders of YNET, the student activism club at Greenwich High School that is sponsored by YWCA Greenwich participated in the event. The group focuses on changing the culture around teen dating violence and by promoting healthy relationships.
At the close of the program, guests were invited inside the YWCA Gertrude White Gallery to view the 2024 installation, “I Knew When…” featuring writings and thoughts from clients, detailing warning signs and red flags of abuse.
The Harmony Project‘s 24/7 hotline number is (203) 622-0003. Callers will find dedicated staff and volunteers ready to respond with a listening ear and to provide support, lifesaving safety planning, advocacy, and options.
The YWCA Greenwich is located at 259 East Putnam Ave in Greenwich. Tel. 203-869-6501.
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PHOTOS: Gorgeous Day for YWCA Greenwich’s Walk the Walk and 5K against Domestic Violence