Submitted by Mary Lee Kiernan, President & CEO, YWCA Greenwich; Simone Quartey, Director, YWCA Greenwich’s Center for Equity & Justice; and Ali Morgan, Education Consultant, Keynote for 2026 Stand Against Racism
“You cannot do what your friends do.” A phrase that so many parents find leaving their lips.
The poignancy of the phrase, of course, is that it is one that many Black parents, many people of color have uttered to their children. Childhood should be a magical time of wonder and exploration. Most importantly, it should be a time of innocence. It should. However, that is not the case. The complications of the world often meet young Black children before they are ready. To borrow from the popular adage, if Black kids are old enough to experience and understand racism, then their non-Black counterparts should be able to do the same.
According to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, there were 11,634 reported hate crime incidents in 2022, the highest number on record, with 59.1 percent motivated by race, ethnicity, or ancestry, and anti-Black bias accounting for the largest share of those incidents. At the same time, research from the American Psychological Association finds that more than 70 percent of Black adolescents report experiencing racial discrimination, which is directly associated with higher rates of anxiety, depression, and psychological distress. These are not abstract numbers. They reflect the daily realities that shape how young people move through the world and how early they are forced to make sense of it.
While Pew Research Center finds that the average American’s social networks remain largely homogenous, with many people reporting that most of their friends share their same racial or ethnic background, we understand intrinsically that the world does not work in neat silos of cultural and racial organization. We are a vast, diverse country, let alone world. It is imperative that young people are provided the tools, language, and resources to connect with people who are not like them and live with diverse cultural touchstones.
Does your child eat food and meals with their hands? Have you had to make your child specific lunch meals to avoid uncomfortable conversations and inquiries at school regarding culturally inclined food? Do the band-aids provided in the nurse’s office at school
match the skin tone of your child? Did your teenage daughter have to go to a separate hairstylist or makeup artist for prom? Separate from her friends?
If you have had to consider these questions, congratulations; you are raising children that society racializes or “others” based on societal expectations of what is considered social norms. The negotiation of dual identity of “double consciousness” was introduced by noted scholar W.E.B. Du Bois in his seminal piece, The Souls of Black Folks, in which Du Bois lends a concise explanation to the “…peculiar sensation, this double-consciousness, this sense of always looking at one’s self through the eyes of others, of measuring one’s soul by the tape of a world that looks on in amused contempt and pity.”
Providing guidance to one’s children about inclusion is not just limited to Black parents. It is true of many parents of historically marginalized identities, including Hispanic and Latine families, families of Pan-Asian identity, non-Christian families, or Queer families. The negotiation of how to raise one’s child with the freedom and equality of one’s peers, while providing them with necessary insights on how the world perceives them is a difficult one. Luckily, it is not a journey our neighbors should make alone.
At Greenwich Town Hall on April 24, at 12:00 noon, YWCA Greenwich’s Center for Equity and Justice will hold its Annual Stand Against Racism.
This year, as with all years, the community will come together to denounce bigotry and racism of all forms. In addition, we will be providing scholarships to young people who are working toward Racial and Gender Equity in their communities. This year’s event will center on a presentation by long time education leader and consultant, Ali Morgan of ALKM Consulting. He has over 25 years of experience as a DEI practitioner, educator and all-around equity advocate. He will provide community partners, parents, school administrators and the broader Greenwich community with the dos and don’ts of how to navigate talking to children about inclusion.
Morgan will use his expertise to help attendees navigate the most difficult conversation parents can and will have with their children; about race, gender, identity, and the expansive ways people show up differently in society.
As Ali Morgan would tell it “In many ways, “The Talk” is not a single conversation — it is a series of moments. A question at the dinner table. A comment after school. A moment of confusion, or even discomfort, that invites us to lean in rather than pull away. For some families, these conversations have long been about preparation and protection. For others, they are just beginning. But all parents and guardians share the same opportunity: to help children understand not only that difference exists, but that it matters how we respond to it. When we choose to engage these moments with honesty, humility, vulnerability and care, we begin to shift “The Talk” from something rooted in fear to something grounded in connection, responsibility, and hope.”
We invite parents, educators, caregivers, and community members to join us, not simply to listen, but to engage. To ask the hard questions. To sit in the discomfort. To leave with a renewed commitment to raising children who are not only aware of difference, but who are equipped to honor it.
Because the truth is, “you cannot do what your friends do” should not be a warning rooted in fear or limitation. It should be an opening, a chance to explain why the world is the way it is, and more importantly, how together, we can make it different.
Mary Lee Kiernan
President & CEO, YWCA Greenwich
Simone Quartey
Director, YWCA Greenwich’s Center for Equity & Justice
Ali Morgan
Education Consultant, Keynote for 2026 Stand Against Racism