TALKING TRANSPORTATION: Hoots for these Holiday Gifts for Rail Commuters

By Jim Cameron

Looking for the perfect holiday gift for a friend who misses daily commuting on Metro-North? Consider one of the following from the exclusive Cameron Commuter Collection:

SCENTED CANDLES: Nothing says the holidays like a fragrant candle to remind you of the old days of commuting. How about the “M2 Lavatory” scent to remind you of the railroad’s old bathrooms. Or the “Bar Car Memories” scent
that smells faintly of stale beer and cigars.

For sports fans, there’s the “Yankee Express-ions”, which smells like sweaty baseball fans tailgating on their way to the game. Or the “Burning Brakes” scent that has just a hint of fried asbestos railcar brake pads. And who wouldn’t enjoy the “Danbury Diesel” candles to relive that great smell of burnt fuel in the morning as you wait for your delayed train?

FAMILIAR FOODS: If you miss snack shopping at Grand Central there’s the “Day Old Zaro’s Bagel Bag” filled with rock-hard baked goods. Or the “Juniors Cheesecake Collection” or “Shake Shack Fries” offerings, guaranteed to bring back happy memories of dining on the lower-level food court.

HOME DECORATION: Or how about a collection of old, graffiti-covered advertising posters from the railcar interiors. Maybe you’ll score the rare “If You See Something, Say Something” posters from the time when all we had to worry about were terrorists.

And for the serious collector on your list, there’s a limited selection of salvaged 2 x 3 seats from the old, scrapped M2 cars, perfect for your rec room or man cave.

If you like painting-by-numbers chose the “Oh No SoNo” bridge painting set showing the 125-year-old railroad bridge stuck in the open position on a hot summer’s day.

HIGH TECH: Or how about the DIY Wi-Fi package to trick you into thinking you can actually get free internet on the train, sure to confound and confuse the savviest of techno nerds on your list.

And for real nostalgia, check out the “Virtual Reality” metasphere bundle complete with 3D goggles playing a two-hour video loop of a crowded train ride with conductors collecting tickets while your commuter-neighbors yabber at high volume on their cell phones. Ah, such happy memories.

And brand new this year, a CD collection of the Yale Wiffenpoof glee club performing on the 5:45 AM train enroute to a concert in the city. You’ll smile ear to ear when the enthusiastic young accapella group does its renditions of such classics as “Silent Night” in the Quiet Car to shocked commuters trying to catch a nap on the way to work.

COVID COLLECTION: To commemorate our fight against the pandemic, don’t miss the “Metro-North Mask Mayhem” bundle, a hand-curated collection of slightly used face masks only worn once around the neck of the unvaxed. They’re guaranteed to be as fresh smelling as they day they were incorrectly worn.

There are no supply chain issues with the Cameron Commuter Collection, all domestically sourced, recycled, mold-removed and guaranteed to please the pickiest of your ex-commuter friends.

Happy holidays!