By Richard McMurray, Cos Cob
Can we get serious about Irish Soda Bread for a minute?
I don’t like it. Never have.
As a proud Irishman, I take no pleasure in declaring this to the world. I mean, I love participating in all my other Irish traditions; the parades, the music, the dancing, the corned beef and cabbage, the bagpipes. (Yea yea, I know, bagpipes are actually Scottish.) (I knew someone would bring that up.) And, right along with all those things, eating Irish Soda Bread, especially this time of year, is indeed an Irish tradition. But still I think it’s kind of awful.
Lord forgive me.
When I think of Irish Soda Bread, I, like most everyone, conjure up images of someone’s Irish grandma in the kitchen rolling out the dough with a rolling pin, she’s got an apron on, the kitchen window looks out over the green fields Connemara, and she’s slaving over a hot oven preparing this Irish treat authentically for everyone in the family. The soda bread will be proudly presented after dinner on the High Holy Irish occasion of St. Patrick’s Day!
I feel like I’m slapping everyone’s Irish grandma in the face when I say it tastes awful! Including my own grandma who used to make it?
I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to turn my back on my Irish heritage. So I keep buying it.
There’s been no escape from Irish Soda Bread either. It’s everywhere nowadays as St. Paddy’s approaches. Its at all the local delis, the golf club’s snack bar, the car dealerships. The supermarkets hit you with it as soon as you walk through the door, even CVS has a version of it somewhere in the store, probably next to the antacids..(ok now I’m getting my butt kicked for sure)
But still, anywhere you get it, its not good.
I ran into it at Costco the other day and by sheer force of habit or Irish guilt, I picked up a loaf. Costco is usually great with their baked goods so I gave it a try, hoping to be pleasantly surprised…nope.
As I put it in my mouth and tasted it, it reminded me of some kind of subtle acid or I felt as if I was eating slightly flavored baking soda.(ugh, its made with baking soda rich, hence the name, soda bread)
Why am I eating baking soda? And the texture, the texture was weird: slightly mushy yet crumbly at the same time. It felt like wet sand.
I just want a nice treat! I don’t want to make a sandcastle!
But I wasn’t done yet, No, the next day while at the market, I picked up ShopRite’s version of Irish Soda Bread. This one got my ire from the start. It was hard as a rock as I picked it up. It made a iron clunking/clinking sound when I dropped it in my cart. It kind of startled me a bit. A couple of other shoppers turned around quickly when they heard the clunk and looked at me for a second, squinting their eyes.
But yet, out of Irish guilt or whatever, I still bought it. I got it home to try and as I broke off a piece, virtually half of the loaf crumbled to the ground. It was the total opposite of a clean break it was a dirty break. I couldn’t even put it to my mouth without it crumbling crumbling down all over the floor. I had to get the vacuum out! Right away!
So that was it. I was done with Irish soda bread..
Then along came Neri’s. That’s right, the Italian Bakery in Port Chester.
I stopped in with a friend recently and sure enough they had it and she would up buying a loaf. I had had it with Irish soda bread and so I kinda I rolled my eyes a little and smiled sarcastically as she paid for it. But little did I know she was buying it for me! Which was very nice but I was skeptical and just graciously accepted it and was thankful.
I got it home and took it out of the bag. It felt heavier than the others. It had a good weight. Grabbing it and feeling the slightly sandy flour-ey underbelly as a broke off a piece, I felt the bakery’s soul a little. It had very minimal crumble. Smelled earthy. I took a bite and it tasted fluffier, sweeter and the few raisins embedded within were hearty but not overpowering. I felt as though I was participating in something bigger than life! It was a wonderful experience!
So what happened? Well, I think, and this is only conjecture, the baker at Neri’s had the same dilemma as me and after sticking to the authentic Irish recipe for Soda bread tasted his creations and decided that it need something else. So he decided to add lots and lots and lots and lots of sugar to it. After he made the new and improved soda bread he said to himself: “There, fixed it!”
I bought 4 of them the next day. Thanks to an Italian bakery my Irish traditions are intact! Now my secret’s out. Get to Neri’s early! Happy St. Paddy’s Day!